C'mon Punk, Make my Day!! Great lines

[theblackknight]

J.B.--"You are the cat's pajamas, man--the bee's knees."

"oh, it's just what people do sometimes when they get old--they take stuff from around their house that they don't need anymore, wrap it up, and give it to people as Christmas gifts."--National lampoons' Christmas Vacation

[Charles]

"If I want any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your head"

Kris Kristofferman? spoken to Jane Fonda's husband (whazzis name, used to be a member of the SDS) during an arguement on the set of "A Star is Born".

[john_w]

"God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore. "
- Taggat in Blazing Saddles

[562lonnie]

Why Johnny Ringo...you look as though someone just stepped over your grave.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by 562lonnie

Why Johnny Ringo...you look as though someone just stepped over your grave.

That's "walked over your grave".
No wonder you got banned, LOL!

Jeff

[bigstereo]

"I am, in a world, of shit."
Pvt. Pyle, before he blows his brains out, in Full Metal Jacket.

[CUlater]

Jeff Goldblum is always good for a few:

1st Jurassic Park:

"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should" <---my favorite!

"God help us, we're in the hands of engineers"

JOHN:"All theme parks have delays, when Disney Land opened in 1952, nothing worked." IAN:" Yeah, John, but when Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists"

"Must Go faster"


From Independence Day:

"Yes, Yes, without the oops!"


From the second Jurassic Park:

"'Oohh, Aahh!' that's how all of this starts, but then later there's the running and screaming"

HAMMOND:"Don't worry, we aren't making the same mistakes again"
IAN:"No, you're making all new ones"

"It's so important to your future that you not finish that sentence"

SARAH:"How will we find the adult?" IAN:"Follow the screams"


From The Big Chill:

"Don't knock rationalization. Where would we be without it? I don't know anyone who'd get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex. Have you ever gone a week without a rationalization?"

"I believe in the old saying that everybody does everything in order to get laid"

"That's what's great about the outdoors, it's one giant toilet"


From Vibes:

"Parts of me are already applauding"

"Oh Great! First I get stabbed and now I'm bleeding!"

"I like to breathe, I'm good at it"

[CUlater]

In the spirit of Christmas (Nat Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, that is):

Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

[after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family]
Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.
Audrey Griswold: He worked really hard Grandma.
Art: So do washing machines. <---my favorite

Cousin Eddie: Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!

Ellen: What are you looking at?
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
[Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet]
Eddie: Shitter was full!
Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?

Clark Wilhelm Griswold, Jr. (Chevy Chase): Can I refill your eggnog for ya? Get ya something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave ya for dead?
Cousin Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine Clark.

Todd: Where do you think your gonna put a tree that big?
Clark W. Griswold: Bend over and I'll show ya.
Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark W. Griswold: I wasn't talking to you. [looks at Todd's wife, Margo]

Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. He's nervous.
Clark: Nervous or excited?
Ruby Sue: Shittin' bricks.
Clark: You shouldn't use that word.
Ruby Sue: [after pause] Sorry. Shittin' rocks

[as an entourage of suits--lead by Clark's boss--passes by single file]
Clark W. Griswold: Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

Clark W. Griswold: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*%king Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

Aunt Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark W. Griswold: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

Clark W. Griswold: Burn some dust here, eat my rubber!
Rusty Griswold: Dad, I think what ya mean is, burn rubber, and eat my dust.
Clark W. Griswold: Whatever Russ, whatever.

Mr. Shirley: [Picks up the phone receiver] Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.

Clark W. Griswold: Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!

Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

Cousin Eddie: If that cat had nine lives it sure used 'em all.

Eddie: Every time Catherine would turn on the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour.

Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?

Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: Well you have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it's a bit nipply out. I mean nippy out. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! What am I saying, nipple? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ahhhh..there is a nip in the air though.

Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess.
Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah.
Clark: How'd you get through it?
Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.

Ellen: Clark, I think it'd be best if everyone went home... before things get worse.
Clark: WORSE? How could they get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell!

[outlawmws]

More Xmas cheer from "A Christmas Story"

"You'll shoot your eye out kid..."