Movies Chock Full of Great Lines

[chard306]

Smokey and the Bandit

When I get home I'm gonna smack your momma in the mouth.

[screenersam]

the Burton/Nicholson/Keaton 'Batman'
"Lieutenant, is there a six-foot bat in Gotham City? And what's he pulling down after taxes?"
"I git a grin...agin and agin."
"Winged Freak..!Terrorizes!..Wait'll they get a load of me..!"
"It's Japanese." "How do you know?" "Cuz I bought it in Japan."
"You set me up over a woman! A WOMAN!..You must be insane!"
"One thing I am not--is a killer! I'm an artiste. And I love a good party. So--truce! Commence au festival!..and there'll be entertainment. That's right; the big dukaroo between me and the man who has brought real terror to Gotham City; Bat-man...can you hear me?"
"And where is the Batman? Home! Washing his tights!"
"Never rub another man's rhubarb!"
"Let me tell you about this guy I know. Jack. Mean kid; bad seed. Hurt people."
"I like him already!"
"I just know you're asking yourselves, 'where can I get these fine products'? Well, that's the gag; chances are...you probably got them already!"
"You idiot! You MADE me! You dropped me into that vat of acid! Don't think I have'nt tried to forget!"

[outshined]

Anyone remember My Cousin Vinny?

"Either way, you're gettin' F****D!

[tboat4]

My Cousin Vinny.......

Judge.. "Do you two know each other?"
Vinny.. "She's my fiance'."
Judge.. "That would explain the hostility."

[masterlu]

"You ain't gonna take any pictures from down there Sonny"

Sam Elliott - We Were Soldiers

[markc2]

Young Frankenstein

Inspector Kemp: A riot is an ungly thing... . undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun.



Igor: Dr. Frankenstein... .
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... .”Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.
[He pronounces it ee-gor]
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?


Way of the Gun


Longbaugh: There's always free cheese in a mousetrap.

Joe Sarno: Fifteen million dollars is not money. It's a motive with a universal adaptor on it.

Hale Chidduck: I'd never ask you to trust me. It's the cry of a guilty soul.

Longbaugh: You know what I'm gonna tell God when I see him? I'm gonna tell him I was framed.

Parker: We're not talking about how long you're gonna live, we're talking about how slow you're gonna die.

Iron Man

Tony Stark: Give me a scotch. I'm starving.

[clydeselsor]

"Why don't you tell me now, I'm reasonably sober!" - Rick Blaine (Bogart) from Casablanca

[markc2]

The Hudsuker Proxy:


Mail Room Orienter: You punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it's a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o'clock. Punch in late and they dock you. Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher and they dock you. Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 6787049A/6. That is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong and they dock you! This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint and they dock you!
[spoken at about 160 words per minute]


Amy Archer: This is a face only a mother could love. On pay day.

Board Member 3: He didn't look unhappy.
Board Member 4: He didn't look rich.

Clerks:

Randal Graves: My mom's been fkin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.

Caitlin Bree: I'm offering you my body and you're offering me semantics.

[markc2]

Bubba Ho-tep:

Elvis: In the movies, I always played the heroic types. But when the stage lights went out, it was time for drugs, and stupidity, and the coveting of women. Now it's time. Time to be a little of what I had always fantasized of bein' - a hero.

Elvis: Look, man, President Johnson's dead.
JFK: Shit. That ain't gonna stop him.


Elvis: Shit! Get old, you can't even cuss someone and have it bother 'em. Everything you do is either worthless or sadly amusing.

Elvis: Even a big bitch cockroach like you should know... never, but never, fk with the King.

[dr*audio]

Captain Barbosa: "I am disinclined to honor your request. That means no."
-Pirates Of The Carribean

[Doctordirt]

Major League:

Harris: Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

Vaughn: You put snot on the ball?

Hayes: Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight, he wants to sacrifice a live chicken. Yo we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!
Taylor: I'll think of something

Rachel Phelps: Here's a list of players we'll be inviting to camp.
Front office peronnel: I've never heard of half of these guys, and the one's I do are way past their prime.
Charley: most of these guys never had a prime.
Front office personnel: this guy here is dead!
Rachel Phelps: Well scratch him off then!

Charley Donovan: What do you mean you don't know, this is a chance to manage in the big leagues!
Lou Brown: Let me think it over Charley, I got a guy on the other line about some whitewalls, I'll talk to you later.

Cerrano: Look Jobu, I come to you. I give you rum. If you no help me now... I say F*@k you jobu, I do it myself.

Taylor: If you EVER tank a play like you did today, I'm gonna cut your nuts off and stuff them down your F*@*^ing throat.

Color commentator: You cna't say goddamn on the air!
Harry Doyle: Aw, who care's, nobody's listening anyway.

Woman at a party: Why I didn't know Cleveland still had a team.
Taylor: Yeah, we got uniforms and everything. It's really great.

Japanese groundskeeper: They're shitty

Harry Doyle: That one's way outta here, Tomlinson's gonna need a visa to catch that one

[markc2]

Originally Posted by dr*audio

Captain Barbosa: "I am disinclined to honor your request. That means no."
-Pirates Of The Carribean

That movie had a bunch of good ones...


Officer: In order to affect a timely halt to deterioriating conditions, and to ensure the common good, a state of emergency is declared for these territories by decree of Lord Cutler Beckett, duly appointed representative of His Majesty, the King. By decree, according to martial law, the following statutes are temporarily amended: Right to assembly, suspended. Right to habeas corpus, suspended. Right to legal counsel, suspended. Right to verdict by a jury of peers, suspended. By decree, all persons found guilty of piracy, or aiding a person convicted of piracy, or associating with a person convicted of piracy, shall be sentenced to hang by the neck until dead.

Elizabeth: I hardly believe in ghost stories anymore, Captain Barbossa.

Barbossa: For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing. Not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea. Nor the warmth of a woman's flesh.
[steps into moonlight becoming a skeleton]
Barbossa: You best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner. You're in one.


Davey Jones: Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

[cdfac]

Add the Aykroyd/Hanks "Dragnet" and "Big Trouble in Little China":

Sylvia Wiss: [pulls her top off] Do these look like the breasts of a forty year old woman?
Friday: No ma'am. They're quite impressive... bordering on spectacular.

Pep Streebeck: Are you crazy? Silvia Wiss wanted you.
Friday: Now let me tell you something, Streebeck. There are two things that clearly differentiate the human species from animals. One, we use cutlery. Two, we're capable of controlling our sexual urges. Now, you might be an exception, but don't drag me down into your private Hell.

Joe Friday: [looking at a lion who's mane has been shaved into a mohawk] Somebody must have wanted that lion's mane pretty bad to pull a twisted stunt like that.
Pep Streebeck: Although, as mohawks go it's not that bad. It'll grow back.
Joe Friday: Yeah, and how do you tell that to these kids here who have never seen a lion before and now probably won't have the desire to ever see one again.
Pep Streebeck: Kids, it'll grow back.
[kids cheer]

Jack Burton: When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Wang Chi: You ready, Jack?
Jack Burton: I was born ready.

Jack Burton: This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang.

[markc2]

Too much fun.

Die Hard

Special Agent Johnson: Authorization? How about the United States FKING government? Lose the grid, or you lose your job.

Hans Gruber: The circuits which cannnot be cut locally are cut automatically in response to a terrorist attack. You asked for a miracle, I give you the FBI...


Hans Gruber: Who are you then?
John McClane: Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.

John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber: Uh, no I'm afraid not. But you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really dig those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, mtrfkr.


Snatch:

Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

Policeman: So, what you doin here?
Turkish: I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?
Policeman: What's in the car?
Turkish: Seats and a steering wheel.

Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fkng Poppins... LONDON.

[Kptn Howdie]

This little girl survived longer than that with no weapons and no training.......

why don`t you put her in charge!

Bill Paxton: Aliens