[thedelihaus]

I really felt ashamed I got duped into seeing this.

Was it terrible?

No.

But was it good?

Not at all.

Were there two action scenes involving rolling objects and action fighting and attempts at laughs, that were more than fairly similiar?

Yes.

Did it seem like the same type of scene re-used after a mild re-write?

Yes. Yes.

Like it was filler?

A load of it.

Is that frustrating?

Oh, yes.

Did it start off with a cliche, a weak reason to "get the gang back together?"

Right out of boring filmwriting 101.

Are there two or three feeble attempts to injure and delay a sea monster that somehow work every time?

They have to- it's Hollywood.

Are they insulting and stupid?

Der.

Are there any laughs?

Maybe a half dozen. Even eight of them, maybe. But no more than ten, for sure.

Are some of these laughs tired old jokes?

No. Most of these laughs are tired old jokes.

Any jokes about Cannibals?

Of course.

Any jokes about Cannibals eating dogs?

Arf! (That's yes).

Any jokes about Cannibals staring hungrily with knife and fork?

Your mother's finest silverware.

Anyone attempted to be getting roasted, like a big shish-kabob?

The biggest.

Are there good make-up special effects?

Yes.

Are they scarier than muppets?

Yes. But barely. Just barely...

If you blink, will you get confused or lose your way, at least momentarily, due to the dozens of nonsensical tiny plot twists?

Huh? I blinked. What?

Will you get frustrated over this?

Grrr.

Will you care the next day?

No.

I found this film to be incredibly, unnecessarily long, it was easy to lose your way or get confused at times with lots of small, insignificant, but confusing twists, there was lots of unneeded scenes, lots of filler, no real suspenseful action for more than a few minutes here or there, lots of poor gags, lots of mediocre acting, lots of mediocre dialogue, and as people were leaving the theater, many were complaining how much they thought it, well, to put it blatantly, and in many of their own words, how it sucked.

I think the biggest kick in the crotch ws it really felt like it didn't end, when it in fact did- it felt like it stopped in mid-story. And of course the ending was the clear giveaway there was a sequel, a part three- it was even included as part of the dialogue, so you were clear on it, no need to question it. At all.

It wasn't even excuseable as the Star Wars films, or even Lord of the Rings was, where they actually left you feeling that at least there was some resolution in the middle films, that gave 'em closure, gave 'em a sense of being able to stand on their own legs, with merit.

No. Not this film.

It felt like a 4-hour episode of Baywatch. Except you were only allowed to see the first 2 hours, 40 minutes or so.