Newsflash Reuter Wire

For immediate release:
O.S.H.A.
Washington D.C.

In response to a dangerous lunatic fringe which has been imploding old television picture tubes, this agency has now entered into a reciprocal agreement with NASA in which all retired picture tubes will be transported into a low orbit and will there have their seals violated.

It has been determined that while this program may be expensive, it will be cheaper than the overall economic impact upon the country from loss of work due to possible injuries resulting from the average citizen attempting this under uncontrolled conditions. Besides, it gives Haliburton something to do in case Kerry gets elected.