Rather than continue the hijack at the 5 best movie thread, let's start a fresh one.
I'll open with something of a musical nature.........

Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got Country AND Western.

Mickey Rourke in Barfly

"I like people... but sometimes, I like them better when they're not around" :smoke:

Margaret Dumont: "I didn't come here to be insulted!"
Groucho Marx: "Where do you usually go?"

Dr Strangelove: "Mein Fuhrer, I CAN WALK !!" -Sandy G.

Arnold to the Predator "You are one ugly motherf**ker"

"Plastics"

I'll repeat the ultimate line from the other thread

"Ejector seat ?!? You're joking."

"Kid, we all got it comin' " (Clint Eastwood from Unforgiven)

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."


Got me thinking now, so more later.

Cheers.

"Charlie don't surf!!!"

Office Space.......

Peter Gibbons......

Well, I generaly come in at least fifteen minuites late...and I use the side door, that way the boss can't see me, hehe... and uh...after that I just sorta space out for about an hour. yea!...I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probly another hour after lunch too. I'd say in a given week, I probly do about 15 minuites of real....actual....work.

"Houston, we have a problem".

cubdog

I AM the law

I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. - Marlon Brando
Great shot kid! (Don't get cocky) - Harrison Ford

I hate people, love gatherings though. Isn't it ironic?

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

"Yippie Kay Yay Mother F%^ker"

"We're gonna need a bigger boat"

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."

"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."

"We got two categories of pilots around here. We got the prime pilots that get the hot planes, and we got pudknockers who dream about getting the hot planes. Now what are you two pudknockers gonna have?"

"We deal in lead, friend."

As good as it gets:
"Carol the waitress, meet Simon the fag."

Cool Runnings:
"You could be on a wheaties box!"

Nick Romano -- Knock On Any Door
"Live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse."

Full Metal Jacket
"This is my rifle, this is my gun
This is for fighting, this is for fun"

The Shining
"Hereeees Johnny!"

The Sixth Sense
"I see dead people"



and more reccently...

Fun with Dick and Jane (go see it!!!)
"Ola!"
"Where are you going with the television????"

Oh Fernando, your mother ate my dog! - Dead Alive AKA Braindead

It's better when heard in context, Mom sitting there with a Dogs tail hanging out of her mouth. :lmao:

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

DeNiro, Scarface, "Say hello to my little friend."

Well we are back in the car again.First Jurassic Park.

That's not a knife... now THAT'S a knife!

Crocodile Dundee

What did you do last week?

We didn't do nothing!

Now, if someone asks you that same question next week, you could tell them
"We didn't do nothing", or, you could tell them that we helped some maniac
storm a fortress!

Crocodile Dundee II

Scott

"It's all ball bearings" Chevy Chase, Fletch

"Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms" --Clint Eastwood in The Outlaw Josey Wales

"Badges, we dont need no stinking badges".

"You're short on ears and long on mouth".

"It's only an island if you look at it from the water".

Charles Bronson
Death Wish 2

Corners a punk and sees he has a cross around his neck.

Bronson: So you beleive in Jesus.

Punk: Yes-yes I do.

Bronson: Well you're gonna meet him ...(bang)

I don't answer the phone. I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end. ~Fred Couples

Janie's a pretty typical teenager - angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her. ~Alan Ball, American Beauty, 1999

Nothing is over until we decide it is. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!!-- Animal House

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.-- Bill Cosby


MY FAVORITE

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.-- Marion Barry

"I want more life, f##ker." Rutger Hauer in Blade Runner shortly before he presses Bill Gates, er, I mean Tyrell's eyes into his skull. Happy times.

dew.

From Blazing saddles:

Taggart: Does anybody got a dime?
Cowboys: [Murmuring]
Taggart: Somebody's got to go back and get a s##tload of dimes.


Apparantly I have an attraction to lots of swearing.

dew.

"What would you do with a brain if you had one?"

This is a line that can be used just about everyday :D

"your levity is good, it relieves the tension of death"


:lmao:

Terminator 3. There's WAY too many good movie lines. I won't get started. But here's a few more of my favorites.

"damn shame throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that"
Better off dead

"I got a good name for this car, Rusty!" -- "S**T'll buff out"
Joe dirt

Actually, Joe dirt is full of great ones, I love that movie, for some reason.

PULLOVER! PULLOVER! "No, it's a cardigan, thanks for asking"
Dumb and dumber

"Can you fly that thing? --"Not yet"
Matrix 1

Ok, I'll stop. Crexrun

Lamy: "Dad, I was swimming in a rainbow with millions of babies... ...and they was naked... ...and then all of the sudden I turned into a perfect smile!"


"Ah, this is the worst lookin' hat I ever saw! I bet you buy a hat like this you get a free bowl of soup, huh?...Oh it looks good on you, though."


Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: Gol darnit Mr. Lamarr. You use your tongue prettier'n a twenty dollar whore.


Dr. Rumack: "Can you fly this plane and land it?"
Striker: "Surely you can't be serious."
Dr. Rumack: "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."

"''scuse me while I whip this out"

"Shut up you faggot, I'm workin' for Mel Brooks !"-Slim Pickens, Blazing Saddles

No more yanky my wanky the donger need food!

Dong, where is my automobile? automobile?

The Blues Brothers, the swat team climbing the walls,,, HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT...

wHAT WAS THAT? WE JUST THREW A ROD! IS THAT SERIOUS? YUP

HOW MUCH FOR YOUR CHILDREN? I WANT TO BUY YOUR CHILDREN!

"I hate Illinois Nazis"

Elwood - It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of
cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses

Jake - Hit it!


Elwood - It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions,
cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas.
What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?

Jake - Fix the cigarette lighter...

Scott

"Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"

and

"Touch that gun and I'll kill ya".

Pete

I can't believe it, they f*cking forgot my birthday. .Molly Ringwald Sixteen Candles.

Screws fall out all the time the worlds an imperfect place.... John Bender the Breakfast Club.

The one thing ive learned in all my years, Sometimes you just gotta say what the F*ck! and make your move, Risky Business...
am I an 80's generation dude or what

Apocalypse Now:
Lt. Colonel Kilgore:
We come in low out of the rising sun, and about a mile out, we put on the music.

Lt. Colonel Kilgore:
The smell.........you know that gasoline smell, all over the hill. It smells like..............VICTORY.


Chef:
Never get out of the boat.


The Wild Bunch
William Holden:

If they move........................................kill em.

the dude abides

it really tied the room together

obviously your not a golfer

i hate the f#$%ing eagles

shut the f#$% up donnie

"I'm on the narrow edge of a precipice,and even the slightest additional irritation will send me hurling into a gaping abyss,from which I doubt I would recover."-They All Laughed

the dude abides

it really tied the room together

obviously your not a golfer

i hate the f#$%ing eagles

shut the f#$% up donnie

Yeah, well thats just like... your opinion man.

Jeff to Jesus the bowler

The American Film Institutes 100 top movie quotes of all time : http://www.afi.com/Docs/tvevents/pdf/quotes100.pdf

Bond: What, do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.

***

Cripple: The last of the V8 Interceptors................it would be a shame to blow it up.

***

Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this?
Butch: It's a chopper baby.
Fabienne: Whose chopper is this?
Butch: Zed's
Fabienne: Who is Zed?
Butch" Zed is dead baby. Zed's dead.

From Blues Brothers (again!)

Jake: You mean to tell me you traded the Blues mobile for a cop car?

Elwood: No, I traded the Blues mobile for a microphone.

Jake: Oh...I can see that.

And another:

Police dispatcher [on radio]: Attention all units, unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been authorized.

From Ghostbusters:

Venkman: I'm studing the effects of negative reinforcement on ESP ability.

Nerdy phsycic dude: I'll tell you what the effect is - its PISSING ME OFF!

Venkman: Well, you did sign up for the study, and you are geting paid!

Nerdy phsycic dude: Yeah, well you can keep the five dollars!

Venkman: Thanks, I will!

And another:

Venkman [questioning traumatized librarian]: Are you, Alice, menstruating?

Indignant library manager: What does that have to do with anything?

Venkman: Back off man, I'm a scientist!

And one more:

Hotel maid, kneeling on floor in hallway after getting her supply cart lasered, with burning rolls of TP on it: What the hell you doin'?

Egon: Oh...Oh, we're sorry...we thought you were somebody else.

I have to say, Ghostbusters had probably 10 movies worth of great one liners packed into one. I could quote the screenplay start to finish in this thread, there are just to many to list.

Kevin

Ahhh... I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow.

I'd buy that for a dollar!!

with that kind of talent, she oughta be giving bj's!

R.Lee Ermy's entire monolouge at the very begining of "Full Metal Jacket" is an all-time classic.

Russ

From "Glengarry Glen Ross"

Blake: We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize?
[Holds up prize]
Blake: Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.

Bill Murray, holding his forehead in pain in "Scrooged":

"awwww!...the bitch hit me with a toaster!!!"


One of my favs.

Russ

More Ghostbusters...

Man at Elevator: What are you guys, cosmonauts?
Peter: Exterminators. Someone's seen a cockroach up on twelve.
Man at Elevator: Must be some cockroach.
Peter: Bite your head off, man.

Ray Stantz: You know, it just occured to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
Peter Venkman: So do I.
Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back

[Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door.]
Dana: Are you the keymaster?
Venkman: Not that I know of.
[She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again.]
Dana: Are you the Keymaster?
Venkman: Yes! Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

[How to deal with the Stay-Puft marshmallow man.]
Peter Venkman: We've been going about this all wrong. This Mister Stay-Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York. We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!

Egon: I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: That's bad. Okay. Alright, important safety tip, thanks Egon.

Ray Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian: good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

Scott (Sorry for the long post... got carried away! :) )

More good lines from "Dr. Strangelove":

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

"I don't avoid women, Mandrake. But I do deny them my essence."


From "The Postman Always Rings Twice":

"Stealing a man's wife, that's nothing. But stealing his car--that's larceny."


And a great line from "Dirty Harry" (also used in "THe Dead Pool"):

"Well, opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one."

From "Falling Down"


Beth: You're not coming here.

Bill Foster: Oh but I am. I'm on my way. I've passed the point of no return. You know what that is? That's the point in a journey where it's harder to go back to the beginning than to continue on to the end. It's like when those astronauts got in trouble when they were going to the moon. Somebody messed up or something and they had to get them back to Earth but first they had to go around the moon. They were out of contact for hours. Everybody waited breathlessly to see if a bunch of dead guys in a can would pop out the other side. Well, I'm on the other side of the moon now and everybody will have to wait until I pop out.

Dark Helmet in Spaceballs "I'm surrounded by a$$holes!"
Tom

Casablanca has several all time great lines including Round Up The Usual Suspects & Play It Sam. Play As Time Goes By.

Plus Grocho was one of the best: In Duck Soup, when the Marx Brothers & Margaret Dumont were surrounded in the bunker, Chico says Let's Fight For This Lady's Honor & Groucho quickly interjects Why, That's More Than She Ever Did.

from Pink Flamingos when Divine receives a mysterious package in the mail

"No Cotton, I smell deep dark trouble"

She was right - the package contained a turd


from The Wild Wild West when the evil genius Lovelace in his powered wheelchair falls several thousand feet into a rocky ravine Agent West (Will Smith) says

"Now thats a whoopin' "

The Odd Couple; "We got green sandwiches and brown sandwiches." What are the green ones?" "It's either very young cheese or very old meat." "I'll take a brown one."

The Odd Couple; "That's not spaghetti, you moron, that's linguini." (Flings it against the wall) "Now it's garbage."

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade; "I didn't know you knew how to fly a plane." "Fly, yes. Land, no."

Groucho Marx in Animal Crackers;
"You could live with your folks and I could live with your folks.
Living with your folks. Living with your folks. The beginning of the end. Drab dead yesterdays shutting out beautiful tomorrows. Hideous, stumbling footsteps creaking along the misty corridors of time. And in those corridors I see figures, strange figures, weird figures, Steel 186, Anaconda 74, American Cane 138..."

Bela Lugosi, in Dracula; "I never drink...wine."

:D [QUOTE=billinkansas]from Pink Flamingos when Divine receives a mysterious package in the mail

"No Cotton, I smell deep dark trouble"

She was right - the package contained a turd

QUOTE]

And from the same movie:

Connie Marble: I guess there's just two kinds of people, Miss Sandstone: MY kind of people, and assholes. It's rather obvious which category you fit into. Have a nice day.

Too many good lines to pick just one so...

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/6304484054/103-0505183-2761437?v=glance&vi=quotes-trivia

Thanks Eric -

And we're both forgetting the best line of the entire show -

Raymond Marble trying to describe Divine to the police:

"She is a whore, officer"

which brain did you use? i used abby... the one marked abby normal

Will Smith in Independence Day:
<WHAM> Welcome to Earth !!!!

Later on the President says:
....... Nuke 'em. Let's nuke the bastards.

Randy Quaid:
I picked a helluva day to quit drinkin'.
later:
Hello boys, I'm Baaaack!
and finally:
In the words of my generation: Up Yours!

There were two lines I especially liked in that movie:
The president (when asking the aliens what they wanted of the people of earth): "What do you want us to do?"
Alien (translated): "Die."
The shock on the President's face is priceless.

and later, Randy Quaid is just about to fly his airplane up into the guts of the alien ship to destroy it, and screams in defiance, "All right, you alien a$$holes!"

Tom

Clint: You a bounty hunter?
Bounty Hunter: Mans gotta do somethin for a livin.
Clint: Dyin aint much of a livin, boy.

Old Indian Chief: Endeavor to persevere.

Howard Beale (Peter Finch) in Network:

"I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more!"

Ned Beatty, in a later scene:

"You have meddled with the primal forces of NATURE, Mr. Beale."

Piss on Eddie Shore, Piss on old time hockey! - Slapshot

From the very obscure movie "Get Crazy":
[To an apparently dying Max Wolfe]
Captain Cloud: Dying? You're not dying man Just another step on the journey, man! It's like a door from one dimension to the next!
Max Wolfe: Is he beautiful or what?
Captain Cloud: Anywhere here we are again to usher in a new year, 1969.
Max Wolfe: '69? It's 1983, Captain!
Captain Cloud: Yeah, well, time's a trip, man.

[Eulogizing Howling Blind Luther Washington]
King Blues: God, this is my man, and you'd better take care of him, or I'm gonna wax your ass.

Sammy Fox: This is an honor, Mr. Beverly, you're my hero. You're rich, you're powerful, you're famous, you're ruthless. Nobody fucks with you, you fuck with everybody! I Love it!

Joey: I'm in love!
Neil: If this is love, sex is gonna kill you!

Do you... understand... the words... thatarecommingouttamymouth!?


Chris Tucker - Rush hour....:smoke:

From any 007 movie:

My name is Bond... James Bond.

And from one of my favorite movies:

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.
Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Time to die."

-Roy Batty - Blade Runner

WC Fields - The Bank Dic

WC: "Bartenender, was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty dollar bill"?

Bartender "Yes"

WC: "Thank Goodness. ....I thought I'd lost it".

Robert Redford "I don't know how to swim!" Paul Newman "Well hell, the falls gonna kill ya!" Together "OOOOOOOOOOOHHH SSSHHHHIIIII........" Splash

From "Night After Night:"

Coat check girl to Mae West: "Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!"

Mae West: "Goodness had nothin' to do with it, dearie."



From "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes:"

Rich father to Marilyn Monroe: "You just want to marry my son for his money."

Marilyn: "No...I want to marry him for your money."

Groucho-"I'm gonna fight for this woman's (Margaret Dumont) honor. Which is a lot more than she ever did..."

"Chicks dig me...'cause I really wear underwear..." Bill Murray - Stripes

"Aw, hell...somebody's gonna have to go back and get a sh*t load of dimes" Slim Pickens - Blazing Saddles

Jed Clampett: "Well, if you should happen to come back tomorrow, we'll be having left-overs. That's the thang about possum innards-they's just as good the 2nd day!"

"Ill always stand behind this woman.I like the shade."

Man at the opera talking to usher-"Miss,these seats are terrible,theyre facing the stage!"

"Do I know you?"
"No"
"Do I owe you money?"
"No"
"In a drunken stupor did I promise to marry you?"
"No"
"Then Im your man."

All from Brain Donors


Jimmy

chris rock,,,, shooting white people is like eating potato chips you just can,t stop at one

rodney dangerfield caddy shack, hey wang this clubs restricted so dont tell your jewish , bill murray, hey lama how about a little something for the effort man the movie is laoded

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee"

"Yes, I killed him. I killed him for money and for a woman. I didn't get the money and I didn't get the woman. Pretty, isn't it?"

"They've committed a murder. And it's not like taking a trolley ride together where they can get off at different stops. They're stuck with each other and they've got to ride all the way to the end of the line and it's a one-way trip and the last stop is the cemetery."

One of my favorite movies is a forgotten Spencer Tracy film called Bad Day at Blackrock. You owe it to yourself to see it. Some great lines:

John J. Macreedy: You're not only wrong. You're wrong at the top of your voice.



Reno Smith: I believe a man is as big as what he's seeking. I believe you're a big man, Mr. Macreedy.
John J. Macreedy: Flattery will get you nowhere.
Reno Smith: Why would a man like you be looking for a lousy Jap farmer?
John J. Macreedy: Ohhh, dadgum, maybe I'm not so big.
Reno Smith: Oh yes you are. I believe a man is as big as what'll make him mad. Nobody around here seems big enough to get you mad.
John J. Macreedy: What makes you mad, Mr. Smith?
Reno Smith: Me? Nothing, nothing...
John J. Macreedy: Ah, you're a pretty big man yourself, then. Yet the... the Japanese make you mad, don't they?
Reno Smith: Well, that's different.


John J. Macreedy: I got a problem of my own.
Doc T.R. Velie Jr.: You sure have, they're going to kill you with no hard feelings.
John J. Macreedy: And you're going to sit there and let 'em do it.
Doc T.R. Velie Jr.: Don't get waspish with me, mister.
John J. Macreedy: Oh, I'm sorry, I, uh...
Doc T.R. Velie Jr.: Yeah, well, I feel for you, but I'm consumed with apathy. Why should I mix in?



John J. Macreedy: You know, I know what your trouble is, son. You'd like me to die quickly, wouldn't you, without wasting too much of your time; or quietly, so I won't embarrass you too much; or even thankfully, so your memory of the occasion won't be too unpleasant.



John J. Macreedy: [to the town mortician] Mind not looking at me like that?
Doc T.R. Velie Jr.: Like what?
John J. Macreedy: Like a potential customer.
Doc T.R. Velie Jr.: Huh. Everyone is.



I can't tell you enough how much you need to see this film. We could all learn a lot from John J. Macreedy. It's been a long time since they made a movie about a man I aspire to be.

Take care,

Ed

One more very good one. There's a movie called Charley Varrick. Amazing movie. Here's a great quote:

Maynard Boyle: You need a rest, Harold. A long trip to someplace quiet. Another name, another country.
Harold Young: I can't start my life over again now.
Maynard Boyle: You don't have much choice, Harold. They're gonna try to make you tell where the money is. You know what kind of people they are. They're gonna strip you naked and go to work on you with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.


Tarintino stole the pair of pliers and a blow torch from this movie in Pulp Fiction. Kinda cool to know where he got it. I bet there are a ton more lines in that movie from other films.

Another great line from CV:

Jana: [Molly arrives at the whore house] These are the goodies. He says his name is Sally
Molly: Molly.
Jana: [the prostitues laugh] Sally, Molly, if you got a bell, honey, we'll find a way to ring it.
Molly: I didn't travel six hundred miles for the amusement of morons. Is that clear, ladies?
Taxi driver: Now just a darn minute there.
Molly: You just keep throwing your feathers, mister, before I put you in the hospital.
Taxi driver: Yes, sir.

Molly is played by Joe Don Baker, and man, is he meeeeeean!

Offensive line, but really tells his character:

Molly: [Molly has just punched out an argumentative black man... ] I allow very few men to speak to me in that tone. Few caucasians. And no nigras at all.

Gives you a chill when you hear him deliver it.

Take care,

Ed

Fast Eddie, those are two great movies. I have seen both of them, actually twice, just happen to catch them on TCM while channel surfing one night a while back.

Fast Eddie, those are two great movies. I have seen both of them, actually twice, just happen to catch them on TCM while channel surfing one night a while back.

Really? I knew Charley Varrick showed up on cable from time to time, but I didn't think anyone ever showed Bad Day at Blackrock. I'm glad to hear that!

Take care,

Ed

Love this exchange in "The Electric Horseman"

Hallie Martin: I'm just trying to be pleasant. You get so worked up about everything.

Sonny Steele: What have I got to be worked up about? I've only got a stole horse; everybody except the Coast Guard is after me; I've got nothin' but miles of open country to cross; and now I'm carrying a crazy woman around wearin' shoes from Bloomingbirds who thinks she's seen a rattlesnake round up.

Ain't this a geographical oddity. 2 weeks from everywhere.

J.B.--"You are the cat's pajamas, man--the bee's knees."

"oh, it's just what people do sometimes when they get old--they take stuff from around their house that they don't need anymore, wrap it up, and give it to people as Christmas gifts."--National lampoons' Christmas Vacation

"If I want any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your head"

Kris Kristofferman? spoken to Jane Fonda's husband (whazzis name, used to be a member of the SDS) during an arguement on the set of "A Star is Born".

"God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore. "
- Taggat in Blazing Saddles

Why Johnny Ringo...you look as though someone just stepped over your grave.

Why Johnny Ringo...you look as though someone just stepped over your grave.

That's "walked over your grave".
No wonder you got banned, LOL!:D

Jeff

"I am, in a world, of shit."
Pvt. Pyle, before he blows his brains out, in Full Metal Jacket.

Jeff Goldblum is always good for a few:

1st Jurassic Park:

"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should" <---my favorite!

"God help us, we're in the hands of engineers"

JOHN:"All theme parks have delays, when Disney Land opened in 1952, nothing worked." IAN:" Yeah, John, but when Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists"

"Must Go faster"


From Independence Day:

"Yes, Yes, without the oops!"


From the second Jurassic Park:

"'Oohh, Aahh!' that's how all of this starts, but then later there's the running and screaming"

HAMMOND:"Don't worry, we aren't making the same mistakes again"
IAN:"No, you're making all new ones"

"It's so important to your future that you not finish that sentence"

SARAH:"How will we find the adult?" IAN:"Follow the screams"


From The Big Chill:

"Don't knock rationalization. Where would we be without it? I don't know anyone who'd get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex. Have you ever gone a week without a rationalization?"

"I believe in the old saying that everybody does everything in order to get laid"

"That's what's great about the outdoors, it's one giant toilet"


From Vibes:

"Parts of me are already applauding"

"Oh Great! First I get stabbed and now I'm bleeding!"

"I like to breathe, I'm good at it"

In the spirit of Christmas (Nat Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, that is):

Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

[after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family]
Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.
Audrey Griswold: He worked really hard Grandma.
Art: So do washing machines. <---my favorite

Cousin Eddie: Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!

Ellen: What are you looking at?
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
[Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet]
Eddie: Shitter was full!
Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?

Clark Wilhelm Griswold, Jr. (Chevy Chase): Can I refill your eggnog for ya? Get ya something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave ya for dead?
Cousin Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine Clark.

Todd: Where do you think your gonna put a tree that big?
Clark W. Griswold: Bend over and I'll show ya.
Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark W. Griswold: I wasn't talking to you. [looks at Todd's wife, Margo]

Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. He's nervous.
Clark: Nervous or excited?
Ruby Sue: Shittin' bricks.
Clark: You shouldn't use that word.
Ruby Sue: [after pause] Sorry. Shittin' rocks

[as an entourage of suits--lead by Clark's boss--passes by single file]
Clark W. Griswold: Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

Clark W. Griswold: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*%king Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

Aunt Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark W. Griswold: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

Clark W. Griswold: Burn some dust here, eat my rubber!
Rusty Griswold: Dad, I think what ya mean is, burn rubber, and eat my dust.
Clark W. Griswold: Whatever Russ, whatever.

Mr. Shirley: [Picks up the phone receiver] Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.

Clark W. Griswold: Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!

Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

Cousin Eddie: If that cat had nine lives it sure used 'em all.

Eddie: Every time Catherine would turn on the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour.

Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?

Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: Well you have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it's a bit nipply out. I mean nippy out. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! What am I saying, nipple? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ahhhh..there is a nip in the air though.

Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess.
Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah.
Clark: How'd you get through it?
Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.

Ellen: Clark, I think it'd be best if everyone went home... before things get worse.
Clark: WORSE? How could they get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell!

More Xmas cheer from "A Christmas Story"

"You'll shoot your eye out kid..."